The Sleepless Secret

We have a big secret in our house.  My wonderful, curious, independent, amazing, well behaved and reasonable toddler doesn't sleep through the night.  Not only does she not sleep through the night but she wakes up every hour. And the only thing that will get her to go back down in nursing.  I am her lovey and if her father dares try to comfort her she will cry herself into hysterics.

It is exhausting.

And while I curse the fact that I have gotten no sleep or that I woke up with a back spasm because the sleep I got was in a weird position trying not to roll over on the baby that has climbed into bed; I know I will one day miss the sweet baby cuddles.

But tonight is not that night.

Tonight is the night I wish I could stick a pacifier in her mouth and a dolly under her arm and just send her off to bed.

But I can't

I can't have my child scared and upset because I'm not there. So I will finish my tea and post my blog entry and go back to bed before she wakes up again.  And tomorrow I will be tired.

But my child will be happy.

Where Have I Been?

We need a nap

I am incredibly bad at self care.  I manage to feed and water myself.  I remember to go to the bathroom and usually leave the house in shoes and not slippers. But things like taking a little time for myself... I'm just bad at it.  I have wanted to take a bath for weeks, but all I can manage is a mostly regular shower.  I have had a myriad of posts on my mind and haven't written a one.  I desperately want a foot message and yet somehow I forget to ask for one.  I am just bad at doing things for myself.

Jellybean's new 'cosleeper'

I am also incredibly sleep deprived.  My little adventurer has decided that I am her pacifier and that she needs her passi in her mouth. All. Night. Long.  So I nurse her all night long.  This is a new thing that started shortly after she started crawling.  Hopefully self soothing will come soon and she can happily go back to sleeping in her cosleeper (which is actually now her full sized crib next to the bed with the side rail dropped).  She is getting so big.

In other news I have an Instagram account and can be found there regularly: Growing_Mama