Wednesday, April 22, 2015

On the Eve of Jellybean's First Birthday

At this time on this night a year ago my waters had broke and I was in hard labor with our precious little Jellybean.
Getting ready to head to the hospital.

Yep, contractions a minute apart, lasting a minute in length and it when on like that for 14 hours. And you want to know something, labor was pretty cool.  My contractions felt purposeful, uncomfortable but productive and not painful.  Pain came later. Pain is how I knew something was wrong.

Meeting Jellybean for the first time.

I am so in love with my little girl. But it still hurts when I think that her delivery was not what I had planned.  I have done a lot of healing in the past year; I no longer cry when I think of her delivery, I no longer have daily pain in my abdomen or at my incision site. Even my scar is almost invisible.  But I am still coming to terms with how an awesome labor can turn into an unplanned cesarean. Eventually I may write Jellybean's full birth story, but for now I will just leave you these photos.

How can you not love that face?